Can't we just talk about it...?

You know what bugs me?
A lot of stuff actually. Narrow it down.

Alright - you know what bugs me about RPGs?
... We may be here a while...

Anyway, to cut a long story short, it's the lack of non-violent plot resolution in pen-and-paper rpgs.

Now, that is not to say that there is no possibility for that. Or that I think that combat should be illegal... in games I mean. Just, RPGs tend to place a large emphasis on the combat over riddle-solving or diplomacy.

Now, don't get me wrong - I know why this is. What makes fiction more exciting that reality is the times when violence does solve problems. Be honest - would you really read a fantasy novel where no one ever comes to blows; everyone carries great big swords constantly, and then just talk their way through problems?

Boring.

So, what about skills? Everyone has watched basically any spy film and been utterly amazed at the tricks and subterfuge that they all use to get in, get the info, and get out. From impressive parkour to light fingers to schmoozing. How cool is that? Very...
... Except when all that happens is you say "I'm gonna stealth" and roll a couple dice... that's rather less fun. And, yes, I do understand that the fun all happens in the mind - just rolling dice and saying 'this guy took 6 damage' is no fun...

... But, there's a sense of visceral spectacle in combat, even when it is just rolling dice. Everyone can imagine something impressive when you say 'I swing my sword... and lop off his head!" - I bet you just imagines something impressive even from something just that simple - whereas it doesn't work so well with less-lethal actions. "I try to convince him... and do!" - not that interesting, is it?

Of course, you can make stuff like that fun. And I've ran combat-free sessions that everyone enjoyed a lot... but, It takes a lot more effort. If for no other reason than even talk of combat automatically gets the blood pumping - it's instinct, isn't it? - while talk of riddle-solving... you gotta be in a very particular mood for that to work.

Which might just be a failing of mine - either as a GM or a Player, maybe both - but it's still just something that bugs me.

... which I suppose brings me in a neat circle. I told you something bugged me, and then explained why it did, and why that was...

You'd almost think I'd had this planned from the start... Yeah right.

... Not sure I have a solution to this right now... maybe I will next week. And if not, I ought to have some pretty pictures of pretty spaceships. I hope.

Anyway, as ever; cheers for reading. And I look forward to seeing you next week.

Volodanti out.

I am Terrible...

... Yeah, not gonna lie - I entirely forgot about this til about 6pm... when I was at work. I am not a clever man.

... In my defence, I had intended to write it up before starting work, and then a friend asked me to help him learn MT:G, and what sort of friend would I be if I refused?

... A good friend. Cos friends don't let friends do drugs. Remember that children.

Sor, anyway, I am a dolt. A dolty-dolty-dolt. And it's now half ten and I've not even started what I was meant to discuss - the issue of combat-focus in most tabletop RPG's - and instead, I'm left grasping at straws looking for something to write about...

So, screw it - earlier than I'd intended, but here's a bit more of the Cuculatus short. Just a snippet. I'll space it out more in future, but to be fair I have the next two-three weeks planned anyway, so... yeah. Sorry again, but hope you enjoy.

Volodanti out.

It was beneath me.

That’s what many would say. Most, even. Certainly, it’s what I would have said had I discovered one of my brothers investigating it.

And yet…

I had been on Tre’avil for three months now. It had started as an investigation of certain Guild Heads for corruption – for one, I had even uncovered evidence of trading with Xenos – but it was clearly destined to be a civil case, better suited for deskers; not the place of a field agent, and I’d happily handed it to one of my seniors to be handled off world. I’d taken a brief sabbatical, in case I was called upon to provide additional evidence, support, or some other aid in the prosecution. I’d rented out a floor of a mid-rise hotel and allowed myself a week’s break from active duty.

It was on the first day I noticed the death. It was a short story halfway through the news slate I was reading; House wife dies from mysterious causes, and a short story beneath about her sudden collapse in public. I’d ignored it – though undeniably unfortunate, it was likely just a fluke of our frail bodies; an unavoidable element of the human condition.

On the third day I noticed a similar story; this time about a trio of students who had died suddenly, with no discernible cause, over the course of just a few hours. They had lived together, according to the article, but otherwise were utterly different; one a chemist in training, another just beginning on the path to becoming a solicitor, the third an itinerant performer. Their deaths were blamed on the overuse of narcotics so common to students, but it seemed just too coincidental for my liking. I resolved to follow the case as it developed.

By the sixth day, there were half a dozen more cases – singularly or in small, closely linked groups. The media was claiming it to be a new, unidentified virus, and was advising citizens to wear filter-masks in public, and to avoid unnecessary outings. It seemed too unlikely for me though, and I resolved to actively pursue it – at least until a more important case materialised. The most recent death had been in a public square, Davenplaz, a short distance from the hotel; well within walking distance if it weren’t for the dismal weather. 

LATE! Also fluff...

I DID NOT FORGET WHICH DAY IT IS! EVERYTHING IS FINE!

... Yep. Ten past eleven and only now do I realise that, being Saturday, I owe you all a post... well, balls. I am not a clever man.

Would you like some fluff? I've done a little painting - makes a change, right? - but I haven't finished, and you know I loathe sharing WIP shots... especially considering the lighting at the moment is terrible...

... nope, I got nothing. Just started X-Wing (which is fun), and just bought a Decimator for it (which is huge), but after just 2 games with models I don't really have any intention of using... I'm probably not in the best position to tell you about it... and, sadly, I think the next time I'll get a chance to play will be saturday night, so no chance there either... damn.

Look, I'm gonna be honest with you - it's been a bad week. I've been moping around a lot, and have basically zero-motivation to get anything done. The only reason I managed to work myself out of that stupor today is because I visited a friend... it's times like these I realise how much I need company. In case you can't tell, I am an introvert by nature, but... well, this is not the sorta situation wherein you want a lot time to think about how your life is going...

... Wow, depressing. Sorry bout that... tell you what, in the interest of motivating myself, here's something I've been working on - on and off again - for a couple years... hopefully, it'll give me the motivation to actually finish it. It's essentially a short story about an Imperial Inquisitor getting sidetracked - I'm mostly done, but I've left it too many times for my liking. Hopefully, with an audience, I'll actually get it done...

Anyway, I'll try and post once or twice a month - I'll have to work it out based on how big the chunks are. If I post a page or so a month, it'll take too long, but if I share a few every fortnight it probably won't make it to christmas...
... Short story; I meant that. Bout ten-thirteen pages, give or take.

Anyway, hope you enjoy, and sorry again for the lateness.

Volodanti out.

Masks have always interested me.

Both the literal and figurative. I suppose the former came from my upbringing; by fifteen, I was a Juve in the Cowled Dragons - one of the thousands of gangs that warred within the tumbling warrens of Obidum Primaris. We wore stylized masks outside of our base; we thought it would intimidate the other gangs, and help us avoid identification by authorities. A good idea badly executed, as the officers always knew where to go when a masked criminal was around.

I remember mine - my first mask. It was grey and yellow; crude lightning bolts for tears and an arrow across my mouth even after I left the hives behind, I kept it as a memento. I wore it until my twenty fifth year; when it was shredded by a flail that almost took my life.

But masks are not merely physical; they are something we all wear constantly. They hide our face, our personality; our soul. We have a dozen or more that we use daily; one when we are with family, one for friends, one for work, one for lovers, and one for enemies. The only time we ever truly take the masks are is when we are alone.

And then we see, what; if anything lies beneath.

I have, on occasion, been treated with the sight of a man switching between masks; sometimes even seen them caught, like a grox in a searchlight, mentally searching for the one they need. It is one of the benefits of my line of work.

But, ultimately, there is one mask more dark and dangerous than any other; that of a loyal citizen. For, those who truly are loyal do not wear a mask; that is one of the few truths consistent throughout their many identities. But a one who does wear that mask, there is but one word to describe them.

Heretic.

There are threats, I am sure, more destructive, or more powerful, or even more far-reaching. But none as insidious as the Traitor. An Ork cannot blend into society, a Tyranid may not slowly poison the soul of whichever city they inhabit with lies and false promises, an Eldar will not turn an entire world against itself.

A Heretic can. And, if at all possible, they will.

And that is why we exist. To safeguard the destiny of mankind, to protect it from what would seek to do it harm, even if it be itself. To destroy the enemy within, without and beyond. To separate the guilty from the innocent; as a shepherd divides the sheep from the goats. It is our sacred duty, and one which I shall happily give my life to perform, but one I fear could one day take my soul. For I stand as a member of the most feared and hated element of the Imperium, and know neither rest, nor mercy.

For we are the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, and we are judgement incarnate.

I have the honour to name myself as Inquisitor Cucullatus Peregrinus, Ordos Non, of Sub-Sector Retellus, Triuvres Sector, Ultima Segmentum.

So how do I describe myself? I am fifty seven years standard, but would pass for a man in his mid-thirties. I am tall; but not unusually so. I do not tower over the masses, but I look down into someone's eyes more than up. My shoulders are broad, but my waist narrow. I am fit, certainly, my muscles pronounced but not exaggerated. My neck is long, as is my face. I have something of a pronounced brow; my eyes brown and recessed from years beneath a helmet. A thin mouth, flat nose, and high cheekbones. My hair is sandy and cut short, an inch at most, while my face is clean shaven. But I think this is enough distraction from the matter at hand.

Screw you KhaDORANs!

... That was a pun for a friend. He knows who he is.

Anyway, back from the tournament, and guess what - I made the podium! Or I would've, were there a podium, and had we not damn near overrun the timeslot. Lunch took 40 minutes longer than it was supposed to, since basically everyone went to the KFC across the street...

... But that doesn't matter. Cos I placed third! Out of 12, yes, but still. Now, I'd like to claim it's due to some clever tactics, a well planned and researched army, and a cool head under pressure... but that'd be an utter lie. I lucked out - we were doing random teammates, and mine always seemed to be incredibly good. The first placed second, and the rest did pretty well besides.

Frankly, my placing was the greatest injustice since the French Empire.

But, enough of that - y'all wanna know how it went, don't you? Well, I brought pictures, so lets get started.

Game One
pHaley and Rask versus eBorka and eZerkova

A good start to the day - teamed up with a lovely fella who was bringing the new Croak Raiders... who are ridiculously good. We deployed and went first, using the woods (the green felt) and house to funnel the opposition into my stormblades whilst the Raiders ran interference...

...or, such was the plan. Didn't quite work out like that. Instead, we basically hammered on the Trolls whilst the Warbeasts held the left flank. By the end of turn two, Borka had lost his heavy, frenzied his light and was preparing for a charge from my Stormguard... In the end, Deathclock won us the game, since we were down on Control points. Still - a good game all told.


Game Two
pButcher and pHaley versus Damiano and pKreoss

Another game won on the Deathclock, inspite of a ridiculously potent combination. A pure Steelhead list hits horrendously, and is a real nightmare to kill. We went first, but they got the alpha strike, their mangler managing to erase most of my stormguard whilst the feat-enhanced cavalry crippled a Juggernaut and wrecked a Berserker. After that it was just a matter of holding the line, and gradually we managed to attrition them down, even if it was incredibly costly.

As I mentioned, we won on Deathclock, but it was close. We had only thirty seconds left when theirs ran out. Unfortunately, I skipped a turn that I thought was unnecessary, else we would've drawn on control points... So, whilst quick thinking is a useful trait, I oughta remember to take a moment every now and then to look at the table.





Game Three
Damiano and pHaley versus eBorka and Durgen

This was not a happy game. When I sat down to find myself facing a Colossal on one side, and Trolls on the other, I knew I was in trouble. My list was not meant for cracking armour, so Dwarves and Trolls were basically my worst nightmare... still, I had the Steelheads on my team, and I'd just seen how potent they could be...

So, how'd it go? Not that well. Turn two, I noticed that Durgen had left himself exposed to my Lancer, and what was more expended all his focus. A lucky turn here could kill his caster and the colossal, essentially winning me the game! So, I moved up, ducking Haley behind the wall and unleashed a fusillade of arcane bolts... dealing 5 damage. And then Durgen feated and killed her easily. Crap.

After that, it was a bit of damage mitigation. The Stormguard charged in, and with the help of the Steelheads managed to scrap the Earthbreaker, only to fall prey to Durgen's Ground Zero spell... Still, we managed to take him own next turn, and finished of Thor Steinhammer besides. On the other flank, the bulk of the Stealheads had made mincemeat of the Trolls, and only Borka remained active. Not something I particularly wanted to face, true, but he couldn't be everywhere, and a failed assassination attempt meant that we won on control points. A first for me!


Post Game Musings

So, what'd I learn from this. A couple things actually.

1. Control Points are worth it. Even if they aren't necessarily gonna win you the game, go for them. I would've come second if I'd put in just a little more effort  to claim them, especially since the stormsmith was basically ignored throughout.
2. You are a team, not two armies. As I said beforehand, an army is a lot stronger than the sum of it's parts, and that goes double for allies. The second game was by far the hardest, and that is because they combined their forces to help each other, rather than operate as two independent units. The only reason we made it through the last game was because my ally saw me stalling, and redeployed his forces to support me, something I owe him innumerable thanks for... and the first game went so well for us almost wholly due to merging our forces.
3. Think during your opponent's turn; act during your own. In such a short time limit, you can't afford to wait until your turn to plan your next move. Watch what is happening, and sketch out a plan as events unfold. A quick 'you do this, I do that' when you hand out control is all you need in the way of discussion, and don't second-guess yourself. You will make mistakes, that is a given, but this is a game about handling your mistakes, and provided you power through on them, you can still pull a win; whether by exploiting your opponent's gaffs, or else just watching them time themselves out.

... So, yeah - end of the day, I had a great time. Everyone was canny, and the format really made the matches unique and interesting. And, cherry on top, I am now the best player in Team Wansbeck.

Suck it Sean.

Volodanti out.

Pre-Tourney Prep

So, once again, I fear that I must disappoint you. I've nothing prepared. Which is due in no small part to having lost my Harley Quinn model, which I had almost finished (seriously, just another hour and it would've been presentable), but mostly due to the title.

That's right, another tournament.

Back to Stockton for a 15 point random-doubles WARMAHORDES tournament. There'll be four of us from our group going, so chances are I'll at least end up on the same table as one of my friends... if only it were the same side. I certainly don't wanna go up again the eKreoss cheese list (pop feat, launch daughters - 15 damage without rolling), even if I have done pretty well against it...

So, yes - I've spent my little free time getting myself ready to take this tournament, and not bring bag a participation award this time.

Seriously, I came 15th out of 16 at the starter-box tournament...

It's a bit of an unorthodox list I'm taking - very infantry heavy, with not all that much in the way of heavy-hitters. Haley with Squire and Lancer, max Stormguard, a Stormtower and -caller... which, I won't lie, my friends have all fervently argued against. With good reason - I'm quite heavily dependent on my partner to take on the heavy armour...

... but, as I see it, a) the meta tends towards massed infantry over a couple big-boys, and b) Haley's win condition is mind-bullets, or getting an alpha-strike with the 'guard. Realistically, if I don't manage to make my feat-turn work out, it doesn't much matter whether I have something capable of one-shotting a Man-o-War or not.

... plus, I've found that the best way to win in a 2v2 is to actually work together... and, if I have to rely on my partner, I'm much more likely to integrate our tactics. Sure, I'll be a bit of a crutch at times, but I think in the long-run it's better to be a good partner than a good solo.

... Or, that's what I tell myself when I want to sleep anyway.

So, yes. Sorry today is just a bit of random musings, but... that is the blog's title. And, in anycase, next week I'll have the after-action report. So, that's fun.

As ever, thank you for reading. I hope to see you next week, and wish me luck.

Volodanti, out.