No update today - sorry bout that. I know that I'm getting really bad for delays, but... I'm gonna do a review of the new Total War: Warhammer, and I wanna do it right. Which means that I don't wanna just hash something out, and throw it at you - I wanna take my time with it.
... so, I'm gonna write it on the train to and from Hull. I'll be on it for five hours or so; more than enough time to write up a poxy review of literally just another Total War...
Crap, I kinda just gave it away, didn't I?
Volodanti out.
Monday, 30 May 2016
Tuesday, 24 May 2016
TeaCast
As promised, here it is - what you've all been waiting for... a Podcast!
It's an idea I've had wobbling around my head for a while now, and I finally got the opportunity to make it. Depending on the response, I hope to make this a monthly feature, but you all know what I'm like. Remember monthly Battle Reports? Yeah...
... Anyway, give it a watch and let me know what you think. Rather hope y'all enjoy it, it was pretty fun to make, even if it was a bitch to edit.
Volodanti out.
It's an idea I've had wobbling around my head for a while now, and I finally got the opportunity to make it. Depending on the response, I hope to make this a monthly feature, but you all know what I'm like. Remember monthly Battle Reports? Yeah...
... Anyway, give it a watch and let me know what you think. Rather hope y'all enjoy it, it was pretty fun to make, even if it was a bitch to edit.
Volodanti out.
Monday, 23 May 2016
A slight delay
So, I decided to try something new for this week, and, well - I hope that it works. Sadly, the compiling is taking slightly longer than expected, so I'm afraid that you're in for a short wait - approximately twelve hours from when I post this.
It's not gonna be a regular thing, but I intend to learn from this that it's not something I can rush. In any event, I'm sorry it's running late, and hope you enjoy it.
Volodanti out.
It's not gonna be a regular thing, but I intend to learn from this that it's not something I can rush. In any event, I'm sorry it's running late, and hope you enjoy it.
Volodanti out.
Monday, 16 May 2016
Super Adventure Time Dungeon Explore Game
... Or for people who aren't idiots - Super Dungeon Explore. Or for people who want a super quick summary "Diablo by Studio Ghibli".
... There's a lot of descriptors, but lets expand a little.
Super Dungeon Adventure is a tabletop game that tries to capture the spirit of old-school computer RPGs, somewhere between a Rogue-like, Diablo, and WoW. Essentially, it's a top-down isometric turn-based strategy, played by 3-6 players, where the goal is to dungeon-crawl to phat-loot. You start the adventure with a character each, somewhere in a 5-room dungeon, populated exclusively by hostile NPCs, and it's your job to clear the current room of enemies, steal everything that isn't nailed down, and move on until you eventually defeat the final boss.
... It's also played on a board with very chibi-characters against anthropomorphic plants and animals, including Billmen (Platypuses with billhooks), Frog Knights on Chocobos, and a cousin of Audrey II. So... yeah, Studio Ghibli.
Anyway, the basic idea of it is that you are a citizen of fantasy-esque kingdom, travelling through the magical forest that separates the various towns and cities. In the starter box, you get a number of different options, from the damage-sponge that is the Questing-Knight, to the bomb-flinging Fae Alchemist. Each starts off with one of the basic RPG roles, but can generally be customised to a pretty impressive degree using the loot that foes drop.
Which means I oughta explain that, since I've spoken about that before... Loot is dropped by every enemy you kill, and can be stored, equipped or discarded to heal damage. Your characters all have four slots for equipment - roughly equating to a weapon, piece of armour, piece of clothing, and a miscellaneous... thing. So, during the course of my game, I had a fancy coat, some boots, a necklace, and a magic map. Cos I am dapper as all hell. Each of these boost your stats in one way or another, and generally grant extra abilities. These are the only way to improve your causing/avoiding damage, and so are very important.
Gameplay is actually quite simple. It's a dice pool mechanic, which is based of your baseline stat, your attack bonus (if applicable) and any relevant equipment. You add your total dice, roll them, and count successes. Against most enemies, you just have to beat a set number of successes, whereas against mini-bosses, elites, and the like, they get to roll to defend. You also get to role to defend, which is a blessing and a curse...
As a nice change though, you get different coloured dice based off your skill in the role - blue give up to two successes, red allow up to three, and green go as high as four. So, obviously, you want all green, right? Yes, but they require magical equipment, which is very rare. So all Red? No. Cos blue dice have a chance of healing the party, whereas red dice just recharge special abilities (sorta. It's a little more complicated...), so having a mix tends to be more useful. Or, more accurately, have a mix of characters who specialise in one or the other.
So, for example, my character (The Warden) was a primarily ranged character who spammed blue dice. That meant - once I stopped being an utter liability - I was actually the primary healer. Cos if I targeted a mook, and rolled to hit, I was all but guaranteed to get some incidental healing off. I also had an ability that let me steal some loot from a living enemy, which meant that, worst case scenario, I could discard it for some healing.
The characters, incidentally, are highly modular. As I said, I played the Warden, who is primarily a crossbowman. But, he also has a couple melee abilities - specifically, one to pull enemies in closer, one to steal loo- "collect taxes", and one to immobilise enemies. So, if you're wanting to just put some hurt on mooks from a distance, you give him DEX-boosting equipment. Meanwhile, if you want to use those special attacks, you grab a rapier and put on a spiky helmet. And basically every character has at least some customisation-options. Admittedly, trying to turn the knight into a ranged character is essentially and exercise in futility, and the rifle-armed princess should never be within a mile of your foes... but for the rest, they generally have stats that encourage one play style, and abilities that encourage another. And while they tend more towards the support roles... there's nothing that forces you to. It's nice to have a game that allows a lot of choice in even one character.
Anyway, I could go on - and I probably should - but I think that I'll cut it off here, just to avoid getting to unwieldy. I kinda like shorter posts - partially due to laziness, but also cos long posts feel kinda intimidating if you don't have a lot of time. So, yeah, more next time. Or soon, anyway. Honest.
... Oh, what did I think of the game? Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And I don't even like Chibi.
Volodanti out.
... There's a lot of descriptors, but lets expand a little.
Super Dungeon Adventure is a tabletop game that tries to capture the spirit of old-school computer RPGs, somewhere between a Rogue-like, Diablo, and WoW. Essentially, it's a top-down isometric turn-based strategy, played by 3-6 players, where the goal is to dungeon-crawl to phat-loot. You start the adventure with a character each, somewhere in a 5-room dungeon, populated exclusively by hostile NPCs, and it's your job to clear the current room of enemies, steal everything that isn't nailed down, and move on until you eventually defeat the final boss.
... It's also played on a board with very chibi-characters against anthropomorphic plants and animals, including Billmen (Platypuses with billhooks), Frog Knights on Chocobos, and a cousin of Audrey II. So... yeah, Studio Ghibli.
Anyway, the basic idea of it is that you are a citizen of fantasy-esque kingdom, travelling through the magical forest that separates the various towns and cities. In the starter box, you get a number of different options, from the damage-sponge that is the Questing-Knight, to the bomb-flinging Fae Alchemist. Each starts off with one of the basic RPG roles, but can generally be customised to a pretty impressive degree using the loot that foes drop.
Which means I oughta explain that, since I've spoken about that before... Loot is dropped by every enemy you kill, and can be stored, equipped or discarded to heal damage. Your characters all have four slots for equipment - roughly equating to a weapon, piece of armour, piece of clothing, and a miscellaneous... thing. So, during the course of my game, I had a fancy coat, some boots, a necklace, and a magic map. Cos I am dapper as all hell. Each of these boost your stats in one way or another, and generally grant extra abilities. These are the only way to improve your causing/avoiding damage, and so are very important.
Gameplay is actually quite simple. It's a dice pool mechanic, which is based of your baseline stat, your attack bonus (if applicable) and any relevant equipment. You add your total dice, roll them, and count successes. Against most enemies, you just have to beat a set number of successes, whereas against mini-bosses, elites, and the like, they get to roll to defend. You also get to role to defend, which is a blessing and a curse...
As a nice change though, you get different coloured dice based off your skill in the role - blue give up to two successes, red allow up to three, and green go as high as four. So, obviously, you want all green, right? Yes, but they require magical equipment, which is very rare. So all Red? No. Cos blue dice have a chance of healing the party, whereas red dice just recharge special abilities (sorta. It's a little more complicated...), so having a mix tends to be more useful. Or, more accurately, have a mix of characters who specialise in one or the other.
So, for example, my character (The Warden) was a primarily ranged character who spammed blue dice. That meant - once I stopped being an utter liability - I was actually the primary healer. Cos if I targeted a mook, and rolled to hit, I was all but guaranteed to get some incidental healing off. I also had an ability that let me steal some loot from a living enemy, which meant that, worst case scenario, I could discard it for some healing.
The characters, incidentally, are highly modular. As I said, I played the Warden, who is primarily a crossbowman. But, he also has a couple melee abilities - specifically, one to pull enemies in closer, one to steal loo- "collect taxes", and one to immobilise enemies. So, if you're wanting to just put some hurt on mooks from a distance, you give him DEX-boosting equipment. Meanwhile, if you want to use those special attacks, you grab a rapier and put on a spiky helmet. And basically every character has at least some customisation-options. Admittedly, trying to turn the knight into a ranged character is essentially and exercise in futility, and the rifle-armed princess should never be within a mile of your foes... but for the rest, they generally have stats that encourage one play style, and abilities that encourage another. And while they tend more towards the support roles... there's nothing that forces you to. It's nice to have a game that allows a lot of choice in even one character.
Anyway, I could go on - and I probably should - but I think that I'll cut it off here, just to avoid getting to unwieldy. I kinda like shorter posts - partially due to laziness, but also cos long posts feel kinda intimidating if you don't have a lot of time. So, yeah, more next time. Or soon, anyway. Honest.
... Oh, what did I think of the game? Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And I don't even like Chibi.
Volodanti out.
Monday, 9 May 2016
Hellbent for Leather
So, I know that I promised you a review, but if you haven't realised that I break my promises by now, that's really not my fault. In any case, this time it's cos I have something that's been bouncing around my brain for the better part of three days, and something I kinda wanna consider.
... well, one of two things, but explaining to a friend why the Dark Angels are not, in fact, Mary Sues seems a bit pointless, since none of you will care...
... So, anyway, here's what's puzzling me; why, exactly, do I like playing Red in MtG?
It's not as dumb a question as it sounds, and let me explain why. See, in every game I've ever played, I've chosen stability over speed. I like to think I'm an ambush-y, hit-and-run, kinda general... but I'm really not. When I play RPGs - tabletop, or video games - I always play as a rogue, but when it's matters of strategy... well, there's a reason the Romans conquered most of Europe, and it's not a brazen indifference to trousers.
... I mean, technically it was because they were actually organised, and considering that the largest pre-industrial empire was Mongolian, this argument loses a lot of it's credence. But, then again, strategy games aren't really that good at representing hit-and-run on a campaign scale, so... meh.
Anyway, back to point... in 40k, as you've noticed, my favourite force is the Dark Angels, who are known for being a particularly stubborn brick. And Cygnar are pretty much based around forming a thin red line (well, technically blue-grey), and enduring whatever comes at them... and, considering I was very close to running a twin-Decimator list in X-Wing, I'd say that my military maxim would be 'hold the line'... if I were to have one.
... So why Red? Well, I started off playing Blue - Blue-Green, technically - and... didn't enjoy it that much. So I tried Blue (which was alright) and Green (which was less so). When that didn't work, I tried White, Black-Green, and White-Black (which is what I tend to build when left to my own devices).
Red, surprisingly, came for the Magic Duels: Origins game.
See, in it you take the role of each of the Planeswalkers from Magic Origins on their road to being a Planeswalker. And in that, for whatever reason, I just liked Chandra.
Perhaps it was because the deck was so simple, and intuitive. Perhaps because she had an interesting story. Perhaps because after her I played Liliana, and her campaign so frustrating I stopped playing for a solid week.
... Whatever the reason, it started a love affair with a forbidden fruit.
There's something very liberating about playing Red - a nihilistic abandon in knowing that is really doesn't matter. Or, as I have pointed out so often, that it is very fair - all the most powerful spells are cyclical effects. Blasphemous act is hilarious, and Sulfuric Vortex is my favourite thing ever.
It's probably routed in the part of the brain that makes you knock over sand castles, but... Essentially diving headfirst into the problem and hoping it breaks before you do is oddly satisfying.
And it allows me to play my favourite not-really-and-Archetype; Hellbent. I.e. endeavoring to have no cards in hand. Which is, I'll admit, a terrible strategy. About as bad as you can get. But oddly satisfying. The sense that you have used all your mana in the best possible manner - or the most efficient, anyway - and now everything is so simple then. Put down everything, turn what you can sideways, repeat. Cos I'm killing myself slowly, but you're dying fast.
... I think that the Cult of Rakdos may, secretly, be my true calling in life. Which is not exactly an appealing thought, but at least they do have the best parties.
I don't know. I just think that the longer the game goes, the greater chance of me making a mistake. And against slower decks, there's not really much they can do to stop you... well, there is. A lot. But why are you thinking that far ahead? Lightning bolt, Mardu Scout, Flunge. Do it!
... I may have problems. Scratch that - I definitely have problems. But that's a problem for future me. For present me, I'd like to say thanks for having a read. And I'll see you next week.
Volodanti out.
... well, one of two things, but explaining to a friend why the Dark Angels are not, in fact, Mary Sues seems a bit pointless, since none of you will care...
... So, anyway, here's what's puzzling me; why, exactly, do I like playing Red in MtG?
It's not as dumb a question as it sounds, and let me explain why. See, in every game I've ever played, I've chosen stability over speed. I like to think I'm an ambush-y, hit-and-run, kinda general... but I'm really not. When I play RPGs - tabletop, or video games - I always play as a rogue, but when it's matters of strategy... well, there's a reason the Romans conquered most of Europe, and it's not a brazen indifference to trousers.
... I mean, technically it was because they were actually organised, and considering that the largest pre-industrial empire was Mongolian, this argument loses a lot of it's credence. But, then again, strategy games aren't really that good at representing hit-and-run on a campaign scale, so... meh.
Anyway, back to point... in 40k, as you've noticed, my favourite force is the Dark Angels, who are known for being a particularly stubborn brick. And Cygnar are pretty much based around forming a thin red line (well, technically blue-grey), and enduring whatever comes at them... and, considering I was very close to running a twin-Decimator list in X-Wing, I'd say that my military maxim would be 'hold the line'... if I were to have one.
... So why Red? Well, I started off playing Blue - Blue-Green, technically - and... didn't enjoy it that much. So I tried Blue (which was alright) and Green (which was less so). When that didn't work, I tried White, Black-Green, and White-Black (which is what I tend to build when left to my own devices).
Red, surprisingly, came for the Magic Duels: Origins game.
See, in it you take the role of each of the Planeswalkers from Magic Origins on their road to being a Planeswalker. And in that, for whatever reason, I just liked Chandra.
Perhaps it was because the deck was so simple, and intuitive. Perhaps because she had an interesting story. Perhaps because after her I played Liliana, and her campaign so frustrating I stopped playing for a solid week.
... Whatever the reason, it started a love affair with a forbidden fruit.
There's something very liberating about playing Red - a nihilistic abandon in knowing that is really doesn't matter. Or, as I have pointed out so often, that it is very fair - all the most powerful spells are cyclical effects. Blasphemous act is hilarious, and Sulfuric Vortex is my favourite thing ever.
It's probably routed in the part of the brain that makes you knock over sand castles, but... Essentially diving headfirst into the problem and hoping it breaks before you do is oddly satisfying.
And it allows me to play my favourite not-really-and-Archetype; Hellbent. I.e. endeavoring to have no cards in hand. Which is, I'll admit, a terrible strategy. About as bad as you can get. But oddly satisfying. The sense that you have used all your mana in the best possible manner - or the most efficient, anyway - and now everything is so simple then. Put down everything, turn what you can sideways, repeat. Cos I'm killing myself slowly, but you're dying fast.
... I think that the Cult of Rakdos may, secretly, be my true calling in life. Which is not exactly an appealing thought, but at least they do have the best parties.
I don't know. I just think that the longer the game goes, the greater chance of me making a mistake. And against slower decks, there's not really much they can do to stop you... well, there is. A lot. But why are you thinking that far ahead? Lightning bolt, Mardu Scout, Flunge. Do it!
... I may have problems. Scratch that - I definitely have problems. But that's a problem for future me. For present me, I'd like to say thanks for having a read. And I'll see you next week.
Volodanti out.
Tuesday, 3 May 2016
Literal Worst
I wish I had an excuse.
... No, seriously, I do. Anything other than 'I forgot'. But, sadly, that's the reason this is a day late. I forgot. I woke late and went out straight away. I spent the afternoon shopping, the evening gaming, and the night watching Game of Thrones (incidentally - called it). I only actually realised that I missed y'all around half four this afternoon... which, let me tell you, annoyed me to all hell.
So, unfortunately, I don't really have a lot to say. Cos, well... okay, I wanna give you a review of Super Dungeon Explore, but I reckon that'd take a bit longer than the ten minutes that I have... so, I'm afraid it's time for a bit of old fluff. Semi-relevant though, since it's the piece that introduced Zetum to the world of Warhammer 40k... one of the most important characters in my fluff, for which I still lack a model... I really oughta rectify that...
... Anyway, it's and old piece, so obviously there are about a thousand things I'd change about it... but, it does include one of my favourite lines that I've written. And likely by far The Unjust's favourite.
Sorry it's late and, well... not great. You'll get your review next week.
Volodanti out.
... No, seriously, I do. Anything other than 'I forgot'. But, sadly, that's the reason this is a day late. I forgot. I woke late and went out straight away. I spent the afternoon shopping, the evening gaming, and the night watching Game of Thrones (incidentally - called it). I only actually realised that I missed y'all around half four this afternoon... which, let me tell you, annoyed me to all hell.
So, unfortunately, I don't really have a lot to say. Cos, well... okay, I wanna give you a review of Super Dungeon Explore, but I reckon that'd take a bit longer than the ten minutes that I have... so, I'm afraid it's time for a bit of old fluff. Semi-relevant though, since it's the piece that introduced Zetum to the world of Warhammer 40k... one of the most important characters in my fluff, for which I still lack a model... I really oughta rectify that...
... Anyway, it's and old piece, so obviously there are about a thousand things I'd change about it... but, it does include one of my favourite lines that I've written. And likely by far The Unjust's favourite.
Sorry it's late and, well... not great. You'll get your review next week.
Volodanti out.
“What
are you doing?”
Zetum
paused in the action of stowing the Militia’s corpse in a waste-compactor to
look at Vaako, confusion evident despite his green-stripped helm.
“...
Hiding the body?” He stared perplexedly at the Night Lord.
“Yes, I
had noticed.” Vaako responded, rolling his eyes. “I meant why?”
Zetum
glanced back at the corpse, knife stroke clearly visible across his throat, the
drying blood staining his urban camouflaged fatigues, as if it were a trick
question.
“Because
I think dead bodies may alert them to our existence... to some extent.”
“...
and why wouldn’t we want that?” Vaako looked at him as if he were a simpleton.
“Well,
to my mind,” Zetum replied somewhat heatedly, “the point of infiltration is to avoid detection.”
Vaako
simply shook his head, unable to comprehend this.
“What
would you do then?” Zetum replied; uncomfortably aware of the corpse slowly leaking into his camo-cloak.
“First
off, I wouldn’t have killed him so quickly. Disarmed, yes, killed – Gods no!”
His eyes took on a feral gleam, his voice hungry. “I’d have made him scream –
such sweet, sweet screams – so that others would hear his death on the wind.
Then I would have displayed him, as an artist displays his work. I would tease
the Loyalist fools’ terror as a maestro teases his instrument’s strings. When
they see daemon in every shadow, when they see their friends and allies as
murderers and enemies – then I would strike. We would need to kill but a few,
and they would tear themselves apart. We could finish this task unopposed, and
they would be unmanned when the true blow struck – their morale in tatters,
their resistance would be less than futile – it would be pitiful.” Vaako almost
seemed to drool at the picture he drew.
Zetum
shook his head, astounded. “But why would we do this? What if they called in
reinforcements? What if we alerted them too early? What if we simply tipped
them off that we were to attack? If we continue as we have began, we could
enter, complete our objective and be gone with less than a handful of deaths.
They would no more know we struck than they would who. And when the hammer blow
is struck, they would not know that they were under attack until they lay
dead.” Zetum nodded quickly before he hauled the body up
and into the compactor. “And we shall. Come, we must be gone by dawn.”
Vaako
followed him, sullen at the Alpha Legionary’s dismissal. Soon they stood, halfway
up the side of the generatum building they were to sabotage. Great cables,
encased in void-shielding, led from the vast reactors to the defence-turrets
pitting the surface of the Hive. Vaako turned to his companion, his voice low.
“You
are a very boring Legion, you realise that?”
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